There are days when I'd like to have that normal relationship with Sam. I mean I wouldn't change what we have now for anything. Nevertheless, I find myself hesitating to post "Hey I love you" up on his Facebook wall and wishing at times he would do the same. I stop myself because he's a very private person and has been very protective when it comes to our relationship and with his family over the Internet. His cop-brain is paranoid when it comes to that, not wanting someone to track us down and hurt us because we're the family of a police officer.

And it doesn't just extend to over the web, for instance, he hates it when I walk behind him (not just me, could be anyone). But I hate walking in front say if we're in the grocery store so he can food shop. I don't know where he wants to go first or what he's getting. Heaven forbid he makes a list. If I had a list then I certainly wouldn't mind walking ahead of him.

Gosh this whole post is starting to sound like I'm bashing on him, which is different than when I wanted. I just can't win on these late night blogging binges.

I do love his cop-brain and he uses it to keep us all safe. So I'll just stop this blog binge for now.